As the Happy Endings episode title implies, "St. Valentine's Day Maxssacre," it's not a very happy holiday for the gang. Every one has their own storyline this time around, and all have hopes for happiness with a significant otherÂ—but only one lucky one really gets the date of their dreams.
Penny and her break-up window
Penny (Casey Wilson) wants to break up with her winking boyfriend, but due to the break-up window around holidays, she thinks she needs to wait. But come this Happy Endings Valentine's Day date, her date can't stand it anymore. She abbreviates everything, and he can't stand her use of "ah-mazing." "But I've barely said it all this season," she appropriately declares.
Dave's crazy sex girlfriend
Penny's words of wisdom cause Dave (Zachary Knighton) to think that his current girlfriend is ignoring him because she too is respecting the break-up window. But then Lindsay (Lindsey Kraft) shows up for a date, and when she asks what's for dinner, Dave exclaims, "Hope you like beans, Lindsay." He also does his laundry. And then Lindsay tells him what his gift was going to be: a three-some. And, just like that, his dreamÂ—that he's had since middle school, what with his firstname.lastname@example.org email addressÂ—is gone.
Alex and St. Valentine
On Happy Endings "St. Valentine's Day Maxssacre," Alex (Elisha Cuthbert) is the most intent on having a good holiday, even though she's quite single. But she gets invited to a singles party. Despite the party's name, "Danny's Balls to the Wall," she heads to the sketchy party of town. But when she can't find the party in her grandma's fur coat, she leans in a car window and asks, "Are you looking for a party?" And with that question, the undercover cop sends her to jail. Luckily, Max (Adam Pally) picks her up, and she's become even more intent that someone ends up happy on Valentine's Day. And Brad (Damon Wayans, Jr.) and Jane (Eliza Coupe) seem to be a sure bet, right?
Wrong. Despite Brad planning well in advance for some spectacular Happy Endings holiday celebrationsÂ—he even gives Jane a list of surprises to expectÂ—he didn't plan for the dentist. In he goes feeling good, to the tune of "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" by Dean Martin, but then finds he has a cavity. Scared of the drill, he gets put under, and afterwards he's so high that he's on his third wind when he sees Jane again. He dips his whole hand, and then head, into the chocolate fondue. And then they get into the limo, and he thinks his friends are characters from Friends. Alex is Monica, Penny is Phoebe, Dave is Ross, Max is a fat Joey, Jane is MonicaÂ—and so that makes him Chandler?
Max and the limo
When Happy Endings "St. Valentine's Day Maxssacre" begins, Max is the most against the holiday. And as his limo spree continues, one of his pick-ups is his ex-boyfriend, Grant (James Wolk), who broke up with him on the last February 14th. Turns out, in 2011, Max was "double booked," not realizing Grant wanted to celebrate the holiday, so he ordered pizza.
But now Max misses Grant, and Grant is with someone else. But that someone else is really unhappy that Grant knows a lot of guys; he feels like he's a "gay salmon swimming up a river of bears." But Alex sees how happy Max is with Grant, and she's set on getting them together. Which is pretty easy when Grant texts Max to say his relationship is over.
And so the whole Happy Endings gang makes sure Max has the Valentine's Day date of his dream, complete with a horse ride carriage and a kiss.
What did you think of "St Valentine's Day Maxssacre"?