Weeds opens with Nancy (Mary Louise Parker) on the job hunt. She meets with a head hunter agency, but it turns out that the jerk (David Norona) only took the meeting because he wanted to meet the woman who had been shot in the head. She's not thrilled.
Later she goes to a soccer match, where once again Stevie is really good, and the dads glare at her. She watches what looks like drug deals. It turns out that they kind of are. Terry (Kevin Sussman) works in Big Pharma. He's passing out samples of his meds because the dads hate his kid for the exact opposite reason they hate Stevie. His kid is AWFUL. Trips over nothing awful. Nancy realizes that being a pharmaceutical rep would be the perfect fit for her. Terry watches their kids interact and invites his kid over to Nancy's for a sleepover. It's been a long time since he and his wife have been able to go on a date because their family has been blackballed by the nannies. If she'll have him over, he'll put in a good word for her at work.
And so Stevie winds up on a playdate with a very socially awkward kid who isn't really interested in playing with anyone. When the kid knocks down the castle Stevie was building with his allosaurus, Stevie hits him. The kid starts screaming and Nancy sits him down to tell him that he's mature enough to realize he's got to change if he wants any friends. He looks at her blankly. She hands him off to Shane (Alexander Gould). Shane has no idea what to do with him, but he winds up recording the two play Occupy Wall Street with Stevie playing a protestor and the other kid pepper spraying him with silly string as he chants "1% 1% 1%".
At the academy, Shane is assigned a paper on why he should be a cop. He overhears two cadets complain about it, so he offers to write their papers for $100 each. They take him up on it, but the instructor (Bill Fagerbakke - hi, Marshall's dad! *sniffle*) knows right away and demands he hand over the money. Shane makes a deal with him instead since there are sure to be more papers and therefore more opportunities to make money. The instructor tells him he's going to do well in the NYPD.
Silas (Hunter Parrish) tracks RJ (Dominic Dierkes) down in a psych ward. He's there on a psych hold. RJ apologizes, but all Silas wants are his plants. RJ tells him that they're locked in his closet and that they should be fine because he left a lamp on in their. Silas is not appeased. He wants them, but RJ tells him that his parents would freak if one of his drug friends came over. Silas brilliantly decides to burgle his plants back. The plant, such as it is, seems like it might work except that as soon as he sneaks in the front door, the lights turn on and a whole mess of people jump to yell, "surprise!" They think he's a stripper. He performs because what else could he do at that point.
Nancy runs into Silas (they seem to lead very separate lives). He tells her that someone stole all his plants. He thinks he can get some seeds on consignment. She tells him that maybe he should stop, but he doesn't know what else to do. He's good at growing. That's it. This is the first episode in a very long time that Nancy has seemed to have a maternal relationship with Silas without weirdly incestuous overtones.
Nancy goes to see Terry the next day. He's gotten Nancy a job as a sales rep. She's thrilled. He shows her everything, and tells her about all the drugs the company sells. She asks him about a drug he kind of skipped over. It's a synthetic marijuana that isn't so great, but they're working on a better pill that will be ready when pot is legalized. Nancy has an idea. She introduces Silas to Terry. He brings them to the company's grow room. Nancy and Silas look like they're kids in a candy store. So Big Pharma doesn't need references or a botany degree for their grow room?
While all this is happening, Jill (Jennifer Jason Leigh) drops a bomb on Andy (Justin Kirk). She's sorry about the Doug (Kevin Nealon) thing. Oh, and she's pregnant. She's pretty sure. And she thinks/hopes/is desperately praying that Andy and not Doug is the father. Andy is gobsmacked. He tells Doug. Doug wants to play pool for who has to take on the father mantle. Jill walks in on that charming display. She drops the positive pregnancy test on them and stomps away.
Andy and Doug get drunk at Doug's office. He has been spending the charity money on all sorts of useless stuff. He tells Andy that they'll get Jill on a horse and no baby. No one will ever know it wasn't an accident. Andy tells him that he is not going to acci-bort his baby. Whit (Bruce Nozick) walks in and offers the same horse suggestion. It's a little scary that they're so similar. There should be only one Doug. That's enough punishment for the world.
Andy tells Jill that he wants to be there for her and the baby. She tells him to find a job.
Photo credit Weeds Facebook page.
"Little Boxes" performed by Bomb the Music Industry