The Mindy Project opens with a Mindy (Mindy Kaling) voiceover all about seeing love in all its various stages on the subway. Danny (Chris Messina) telling her to just shut up already clues you in that nope, no voiceover. It's actually Mindy as narrator.
Mindy tells Betsy (Zoe Jarmon) and Shauna (Amanda Setton) all about her meet cute with an architect (Seth Meyers!) at a bookstore where she got suckered into buying books because of a tote giveaway. She approached him to buy their books together so she could get it, and he asked why he shouldn't get it. She thought he was serious. She is not very good at this flirting business.
Anyway, they wind up on an impromptu date with the guy buying Mindy three cups of frozen yogurt before realizing that she just doesn't like it. Somehow he doesn't find that annoying, and they're going out that night. Betsy and Shauna ooh and aah, but Danny dismisses the guy as being a phony because no one is really an architect except in romantic comedies.
Mindy tracks down Beverly, a nurse, to ask about some blood samples. Beverly is a mess. She is rude and possibly smoking up in the lounge. Plus, Mindy finds the blood samples in the couch. She calls a meeting of the partners and tells them that Beverly has to go. Shulman (Stephen Tobolowsky) tells Jeremy (Ed Weeks) to fire Beverly and hands over the responsibility of hiring a new nurse to Mindy. Danny is upset, partly because Shulman gave the duty to Mindy and partly because he's afraid of whom she might hire, so Shulman tells him to help her.
Mindy and Danny go through all the applicants, with predictable results, until they finally reach one who might be perfect except they behave like 11-year-olds, and she tells them off before storming out.
Mindy has lunch with Gwen (Anna Camp) and tells her all about her meet cute guy. She even shows her a pic that she took of him through her hair (so he wouldn't know she took a photo). Gwen semi-approves of the sexy librarian in a porn movie first date look before she takes a photo of Joaquin Phoenix through her hair.
Back at the office, Danny and Mindy have one last applicant to interview. Ransom/Morgan (his name is Morgan but he wants to be called Ransom. Mindy tells him that's not going to happen based on her own experience of wanting to be called Chloe) has a tattoo reminding him not to steal cars around his belly button. He went to jail for two years for it so he doesn't want to repeat the experience. Which is good? Danny tells him sorry, but he's not getting the job. He's hugely disappointed, but asks if he can use the restroom before he goes.
Meanwhile, Jeremy returns from not firing Beverly. He just couldn't bring himself to do it. Mindy is fed up over the whole thing and fires Beverly herself. It doesn't go well. How not well? Beverly punches Mindy in the nose, breaking it.
Mindy screams as Beverly storms out. Everyone comes running and Danny tells Mindy that her nose is not broken. And then she lowers her hands. It's definitely broken. She's bleeding. A lot. Ransom/Morgan comes in and sets her nose. Mindy hires him on the spot. Danny starts to object, but Mindy says she's owed and she's hiring him. Shulman shuts Danny down.
Danny and Mindy take the subway home. Mindy is a mess. Her nose is in a cast so the date is clearly off. Mindy is upset. Danny tells her to buck up, but Mindy tells him that societal beauty demands being a white girl with a perfect nose and now she's 0 for 2. Danny kind of scoffs and Mindy gets an evil look in her eye and basically makes the entire subway car think that they are a married couple and that he's the one that gave her the broken nose. That might not have been a shining moment for the show.
Photo credit: Facebook.com/The Mindy Project